A simple job, really. “You're in, you're out, and then you're sitting at the beach, sipping whatever the Amanto equivalent of a Margarita is, and, most importantly, you can afford to do so, for the rest of your life!”
Sounded too good to be true.
Gintoki Sakata wearily stumbled past another tree.
He clearly remembered he'd turned down taking the suspicious job, so... why was he here, lost in some forest in some land he'd never been to?
And why was some little girl he'd never met before chomping down on his head, despite his repeated kindly requests for her to take a hike, preferably over the side of a cliff?
“Yer hea' i' rea''y touff!” said the girl, her mouth still full of Gintoki's cranium.
“I've been chewed on by a pro,” said Gintoki. “Your weak ass bites couldn't even make me break a sweat, much less break through my toughened up skin. But I might break wind if you keep this up.”
“I' tha' so?” The girl gave up. She spat out some permed silver hair, and then flew in front of Gintoki. “What's wrong with you humans?” she asked, annoyed. “The last two humans I tried to eat beat me up, and now you're here, and can't even be eaten!”
“You're not a human?” asked Gintoki, barely surprised.
“Maybe if I fry you first, you'll soften up?” said the girl to herself, ignoring Gintoki's question. Her hands lit up with energy, which she began to... shoot at Gintoki.
“Oi!” Gintoki dived away from those energy bullets, only to witness the girl launch into an all out attack. Thousands of the energy bullets impacted around him, destroying the landscape. Fortunately, she wasn't aiming, merely attacking, indiscriminately. He was easily able to weave his way through the bullet storm, putting a bit of distance between himself and the girl.
However, she then tried chasing Gintoki with random shots interspersed with aimed shots. He weaved best he could, dodging both bullets, and ducking under tree branches. However, he lost sight of one, and it hit him in his chest. Or rather, it passed through his chest, for whatever reason.
“Che! Miss your hitbox,” said the girl, annoyed.
Gin was shocked enough at surviving the girl's shot, that he didn't even react when she fired hundreds of more bullets at his torso. Not one touched him, though, all passing through him faster than even sour strawberry milk.
“Where is it?” she shouted, angry.
Gin smirked. So her bullets had to hit a particular spot on his body? And he didn't have that spot?
The girl, furious upon seeing Gin's expression, shot at his face, but it too passed through him. Then she aimed at his scrotum.
Her bullet just grazed one of his... golden souls.
Gin's eyes teared up.
“There it is, but it's kind of small,” said the girl.
Gin's eyes teared up even more. “It's cause it's cold,” he said, muttering.
The girl spread apart her arms, as though inviting a hug. But Gin knew, she was really preparing a big attack. He jumped away, best he could despite the dull growing pain in his groin, in preparation for all the bullets the girl was now aiming at his crotch.
He took out his wooden blade. He really wasn't up for this fight, but he had the protect the possibility of some day having children, however unlikely the prospect seemed.
Three barrages. All a bit slow, but still with very little room to manoeuvre. He did his best to avoid all the bullets, but it felt as though both his... hit boxes were grazed multiple times.
With tears in his eyes, upon (mostly) avoiding the third barrage, he leapt to the flying girl, and lightly striking the back of the girl's, knocked her out.
He landed, and then crumpled forward. Just what did he win in this fight?
Author's notes: Dunno if I'll continue this. The beginning seemed a bit slow, but I slogged through it, and got something near the end. Dunno what it was, but it seems to work, for now. Just wanted to present this idea. It's nothing, yet, but it could be something, someday, if I bother with it. Then again, it might be nothing, but maybe it'll give someone else an idea to try.
